I can't believe I said, "Yes!"

Guess who the city manager asked to help with my city's emergency plan?

No . . . guess again.

Wrong---try again.

No---it's not my hairdresser.

Um . . . er . . . a . . . You're not very good at this, are you.

Here's a clue---READ THE FIRST SENTENCE!

Okay, okay, I'll tell you----ME! Can you believe that?

Me neither.

So . . . You'd think that I would just pass out flyers and take the easy way out. You'd think that someone of my limited physical abilities would just make phone calls, huh.

You'd think that, huh . . . but . . . noooooooo .. . . not me . . . I'M A DOOFUS, remember? I have to make things as hard as I can.

Yah, instead of passing out flyers or making phone calls, I'm throwing a "Military" party. I'm organizing sections of the neighborhood in platoons, with captains over each platoon. I'm giving "marching" orders to meet at a designated location where all the other platoons can meet.

Instead of sumthun easy like flyers, I'm having cruddy "grub" at a cruddy "mess hall."

I'm having a boot camp where the platoons compete against each other for cruddy prizes.

I'm having each platoon march down the road carrying a huge American Flag.

I'm giving out cruddy prizes and awards and special recognizition to the "real" military families who live in our neighborhood.

I'm thinking of every hard thing I can do.

"Why," you ask?

I'll tell you why, "Cuz I'm a Doofus---that's why!"

I gotta meet with the person I "recruited" to be in charge of the Boot Camp.
I gotta meet with the people preparing the cruddy grub.
I gotta meet with the person I "recruited" to be in charge of the honors ceremony.
I gotta get information to all the captains to give to everyone in their platoons.
I gotta make salt dough star refrigerator magnets.
I gotta make salt dough heart pins.
I gotta prepare the "Draft Paper" invitations.
I gotta assign someone to set up the "mess hall."
I gotta assign someone to clean up the "mess."
I gotta do a lot more stuff . . .

That looks like a lot of stuff to do, doesn't it.

What a "maroon." <---my Bugs Bunny impersonation.

Hmmmm . . . I think that instead of calling in sick, I'm gonna give a big "HurRah" and call in dead.

LESSON LEARNED: When I was approached to do this assignment, I acted dumb,(sadly, I didn't have to act)---it didn't help. Next time I get asked to do something, instead of acting dumb (<----in my case, there was no acting involved), play DEAF and dumb (<---which doesn't require acting).